March 25 2020 (Wednesday)

Today is trash day. Trash bin usually is lugged out by pa. It has become a routine for him for decades. Even at hospital bedside, pa would remind me to help him lug out the trash bin. Yesterday evening, before walking to colors of india, i helped him lugged the bin to the curb.

Pa asked me, “who can i trust, Ping?” At hospital bedside, pa looked extremely tired. Pa lost his birth father to car accident at a very young age. Ever since then, he had been working extremely hard to support the family, initially, his brothers and sisters and then my mom and the children.

Pa cant enjoy a meal at peace when i invited him to phoenix dim sum. Sibling came and argue with him. Pa said jealousy amongst the siblings. How does a good father resolve conflicts in the family??

Because of sibling rivalries, mom tries her best that she knows how, to help each one of her children. Mom fears her money and precious things get stolen again. Mom loves staying in the comfort of her own home. She doesnt want to go to nursing home. The sweet mango tree that she planted is now two stories high.

How does a frail 80 year old woman continue to love her hubby of 50 years, cope with own illness, disappointment, and pain and live with the fear of abandonment by her own children??